Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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