I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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