You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
