Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
