Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
