Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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