I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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