so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
