The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
