Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
