I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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