I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
