doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
