On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
