You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
