I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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