Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
