Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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