She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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