Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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