Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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