party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize