Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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