Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
