Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
