i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
