babies were throwing up all over the place
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
