Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize