And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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