I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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