I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
