We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
