And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
