I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
