You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There's even glitter on my cock...
His nipple licking is glorious
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