I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
