i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
