I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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