just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
