Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
