stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i believe in u and ur pee
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
