you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
