Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
