half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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