he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
