I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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