Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
