there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
