Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I checked into jail on foursquare
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
