You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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