His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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