i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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