I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
