every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
