hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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