too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
