Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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