OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
